Late Blog

Per my "schedule" this blog should have been done Tuesday morning...thank goodness that schedules can be flexible!  I was in Billings on Tuesday, AGAIN!  It was a short impromptu visit to help the office.  While I don't like being away from my family, my friends, my home, sometimes time away is just what I need.  I listened to a book on tape, I listened to my iPod and sang my heart out, I sat quietly with my thoughts, I watched whatever I wanted on TV, I read a REALLY good book, I rested.  Now, I am HOME!  Ready to jump in feet first back to my real world.  Sometimes I feel so tiny in my world.  I wonder what I really do all day that makes a difference.  I don't make tons of money.  I don't have a job that makes a major difference or a social impact.  I'm not an artist or a singer or a photographer.  I'm just me.  But then I remember...I'm a WIFE, a DAUGHTER, a FRIEND.  Those are 3 pretty important, challenging and rewarding hats that I wear every day.  Those 3 hats make a difference to someone.  So tonight I will cook a wonderful dinner for my amazing husband and maybe even bake a dessert too.  Tomorrow I will run errands that are important to my family and my sanity...I'm going to sneak in a massage too!  Saturday we have plans for Northwest Honey Fest II in the Bitterroot with great friends.  Sunday I will pick up my parents...two people that I love beyond measure in this world.  I am HOME!

Blogger's Block

I've been thinking about my Tuesday blog and I don't know what to write about.  This has been a pretty low key week...no major events (other than Greg's new job and I already blogged about that), no pictures taken, no big stories to tell.  I went through the stored up ideas in the BlackBerry and just am not feeling any of them.  Perhaps I'm feeling a little blah this Tuesday.  Perhaps I've been feeling a little bit blah for the last couple of weeks.  Maybe it's the change in weather, maybe it's going from traveling constantly to sitting perfectly still, maybe it's just a mood...who ever knows why we feel blah.  Perhaps it's time for another list of things to do to pull me out of my "blah" and get me off to the right foot in September...

Let's see here...

1. Join a book club (this one is kind of cheating because I've actually already joined a book club but it doesn't start until September 16th)
2. Get a massage (again with the cheating!  Greg bought me a gift certificate to the Spa at our gym and I'm scheduling it for next Friday)
3. Learn to knit (finally, no cheating!  I've always wanted to learn to knit so I could have cute hats and mittens on demand...and just in time for fall/winter)
4. Make a gift for someone (sometimes doing something nice for someone else just takes your mind off of the "blah")
5. Organize the office (our office is the "catch-all" room in our house...we only have 2 rooms so that's not so great!  Time to get it into shape)
6. Go to a wine tasting (Warden's has a GREAT wine tasting every Thursday night and I've only been ONCE...that was like 8 months ago...think it's time to get out of the house a bit)
7. Volunteer (I've been meaning to do this...I just don't quite know where my volunteering will fit in...guess it's time to find out and take action!)
8. Go on a hike each weekend in September (with me traveling almost every other week this Summer there was no time for hiking.  It's something Greg and I really enjoy doing.  I think Fall is the perfect time for hikes...not too hot, not too cold!)
9. Get caught up on Scrapbooking (I don't know if I can get totally caught up in the month of September as I have about 2 books to finish, but I can make a good effort)
10. Download some new music (this is cheating a little bit too...I have a list of songs stored up in the BlackBerry that I've been meaning to download...just need to get it done!)

So there you have it...Tuesday's blog, a plan to get me out of my "blah" and a good start to September!

Perspective...

This is not one of the posts that I have stored up in my BlackBerry.  This morning I went to the gym.  I've been trying to lose a little weight and today was "weigh myself day."  My first goal was to lose three pounds, which was only one pound/week from the last time I had "weigh myself day."  So, I stepped on the scale and what did I see???  I GAINED 1.5 pounds???  I GAINED weight....URG!!!  I was so frustrated, but what are you gonna do?  So I went upstairs and held my date with the trusty treadmill.  When I'm working out I really let my mind wander for the most part.  It's kind of my "me time."  No cell phones, no computers, no TV, no one asking me for anything...just me, the treadmill and my thoughts.  I thought about our upcoming trip to Portland, I thought about Greg's job, I thought about hiring a personal trainer (which I can't afford...just a pipe dream), I even thought about what I would blog about because as you know Tuesdays are for blogging!  But mostly I was beating myself up for gaining weight.  Just then a guy got on the treadmill next to me.  I noticed that he had braces on his legs and has probably had them for all or most of his life.  Clearly walking is not an easy task for him.  I imagine he does it because it's good for him, because it's what the doctors tell him to do...what discipline!  He was probably walking at less than a 2 mile/hour pace.  And get this...he was SMILING!!!  Here I am walking on a 10% incline at a 3.5 mile pace pissed off because I gained a pound and a half and this guy is smiling through a workout that is clearly very uncomfortable for him.  Perspective kind of slapped me right upside the head this morning.  So what about a pound and a half.  I can get out of bed in the morning with relative ease, I can walk however fast or slow I want for the most part, I can golf and hike and live my life pretty much the way I want.  What do I really have to complain about?  And this man probably gets stared at all the time.  Getting up from the table to get a cup of coffee is probably a really big chore for him.  Getting in and out of his vehicle is probably very difficult.  And he doesn't complain, in fact he does it with a smile!  So for the rest of the week that's my goal...Do it with a smile.  Whatever "it" is...SMILE!

Tuesdays Are For BLOGGING!!!

Hello sweet blogging friends!  I have really missed you!  As you may recall, I have been traveling to Billings for work for the past three months.  During these three months I have missed putting my life in words for all to see (well all three or four of you anyway) and I have missed being part of the exciting things going on in your lives as well.  I have felt like a bad blogger.  I have felt guilty for not checking in.  I have fretted over how to fit blogging into a more consistent space in my life.  Hence my title for this blog, Tuesdays are for blogging!  I don't work until 10 on Tuesday mornings.  I am going to make a concerted effort to be a consistent blogger with at least one post a week using Tuesdays as my time slot.  This is not to say that Tuesdays are the ONLY day for blogging, but they are at least a designated day in my crazy little world.  I have several blog ideas stored up in my BlackBerry, just WAITING, HOPING, WANTING to be shared with my little blogging world.  So, stay tuned for Tuesday....

What Summer?

I have been a BAD, LAZY, INCONSISTENT blogger.  BUT, I have a good excuse...Since the middle of May I have been traveling back and forth to Billings for work.  It is exhausting, but I'm making good money doing it.  I strongly dislike being away from my husband and my parents and my friends, but it is part of my job.  I often have to leave on a Sunday so that I am there on Monday morning to open the store.  I often don't get home until LATE on Friday nights because someone has to close the office.  Already I find myself at the END of JUNE, wondering where has my Summer gone?  I am actually writing this blog a mere 10 minutes before I have to put the suitcase in the trunk and leave for Billings for a two week stretch.  I have lots of blogs to write...new recipes, a picture of my first Lotto Ticket purchase, pictures from our Annual Mother's Day weekend, pictures from Father's Day at the Bison Range, etc, etc, etc.  For now those blogs will have to wait, because all I want to do when I am home is hang out with my family and get a little refreshed before it is time to leave again.  So, please, stay tuned...I swear there will be some new blogs with substance soon!

Insomnia

It's 2:14am and I am WIDE AWAKE...heartburn is the culprit!  I think it must be the crab cakes from Jaker's.  I had them for the first time tonight and man were they good.  However, I am STRONGLY re-thinking my decision right now!  I've been meaning to write an "update" on pulling myself out of my rut...At the end of last month I gave myself a list of 10 little things I could do to kind of spice things up and get myself motivated a little more.  So far it's been really fun!  Not only has it actually helped to pull me out of my rut, but it's given me lots of little mini goals to accomplish, and I like goals!  I have always been a list person and it gives me great joy to check things off the list.  I'll admit there have been three days this month where I haven't worn make-up...I had the flu and didn't think the toilet bowl cared if I had mascara and lip gloss on or not!  And, my mom and I did sign up for a Crayon Quilting Class with the Life Long Learning Center.  In fact, our first class was supposed to be tonight, but it was canceled due to "lack of interest", which was a bummer!  I did get a new plant for my workspace, but I haven't actually "planted" it yet or taken pictures, but it's coming, I SWEAR!  For the two of you that follow my blog, surely you have noticed a difference in the appearance.  Maybe not a BIG one, but a difference.  I'm learning A LOT from "Publishing a Blog With Blogger", but may still need the Design Girl to do the finished project when it's all said and done!  And I'm still working on all the rest!  I have a lot of projects being worked on, but not quite complete!  But what I've learned with this little experiment is it's not the marking things off the list or giving myself goals to accomplish.  It's really all about the EFFORT!  I put so much effort into my marriage, my work, my friendships, etc, etc, etc.  However, I rarely put a lot of effort into plain old ME!  It's not a selfish thing.  I think it's a GREAT lesson to learn, especially as women.  Sometimes you just need to be reminded that YOU need a little effort too!  Stay tuned for the rest of the updates...

Happy Friday

These are the BEAUTIFUL flowers that were sent to me at work from my AMAZING husband...Just to tell me "HAPPY FRIDAY!!!"

I am one lucky girl!

PLEASE disregard my MESSY nightstand...I'm quite behind on my magazines and books!

Will I ever...

Today was one of those days that had me wondering...
Will I ever...? Some of my "Will I evers" today are as follows:
Will I ever have all of my laundry done at the same time?
Will I ever enjoy grocery shopping?
Will I ever have a completely clean house?
Will I ever get to all those books I've been meaning to read?
These "Will I evers" made me realize how "adult" I've become! Ten years ago my biggest "Will I evers" would have been:
Will I ever lose that 10 pounds?
Will i ever like my hair?
Will I ever own a pair of Minolo Blahniks?
Will I ever get married?
Oh how times change!!! And I don't mean that in a bad way! It's just so funny to look back and see how your perspective changes. How life changes you, molds you, grows you...
But today my biggest "Will I ever?" was this....Will I ever stop trying to be everything to everybody? At almost thirty I often times lose that balance in life. That fine balance of being a wife, being a daughter, being a co-worker and an employee, being a student, being a friend, being a part of my community. I don't think I'll find that balance overnight, but I think I'm going to try to get better at it during my thirties...It will be fun to see what my "Will I evers" are in another 10 years!

Almost Impossible!

Yesterday I attended the first round of the playoffs: UM Grizzlies V. SDSU Jackrabbits. My mom and I scored some great tickets in the North Endzone right between the uprights while my dad and husband sat in their normal season ticket holding seats. I would like to say that I have ALWAYS been a Griz, but the truth is, I didn't know they existed until my family moved here in '96. But once I met the Griz it was love at first sight and I've been a fan ever since. I would also like to say that I've been a fan through thick and thin, but as long as I've been a Griz there's never really been a thin. I think the worst it's ever been is losing out in the first round of the playoffs one or two years. I would however like to believe that no matter what happens, I'm a Griz. Like most of the Missoula population we "bleed silver and marroon." I've seen the Griz win by the skin of their teeth a few times. They seem to be more of a second half team, which often leaves fans on the edge of their seats right down to the last seconds of the game. Yesterday was no exception. The Griz went into halftime down by three touchdowns. I don't often lose faith in my team. I often have to remind other fans that we are Griz no matter what, even if they do allow turnovers, even if there are penalties, even if we are down. I am sorry to say that yesterday I had my doubts. My mom and I took our seats in the third quarter and after watching SDSU score ANOTHER touch down I shared my thoughts. I said, "Mom, I know it's doable, but I just don't know how they're going to do it." And my mom, the most positive person I know, said to me, "Kyra, all they have to do is score one touch down every 5 minutes and they will win." Just like that. And with all the odds against them, that's exactly what my Grizzlies did. They came back from a 28 point deficit to defeat the Jackrabbits and move on to the next round. And as I watched them claw and fight their way back I also watched the crowd come out of a funk. Before I knew it, the crowd that was so silent in the first half, came alive. As this happened, I caught myself wondering something I have often wondered before, "What is it about being a fan?" I say I LOVE the Griz and I do, but I don't actually KNOW any of the Griz players. I say they are MY team and they are, but I don't OWN them, I don't COACH them. So what is it. What is it that conects me and thousands of other fans to the Grizzlies? Is it the feeling that if our team wins, we also somehow win? Is it the idea that even if nothing else is going right the Grizzlies will still take the field? Are we living vicariously through our team, thinking of all the things we could have been in our lives? Or is it just being part of something bigger than ourselves? The idea that maybe, just maybe we also can do the impossible? Even after pondering I don't know what it is, but I'm glad to say that I'm a Griz...through thick and thin I will always be a Griz.

Success!

Success...
I recently planned a Lia Sophia jewelry party in my home, which to be honest is really outside of my comfort zone. We don't usually have a lot of people in our home...in fact, until last night I could probably have counted on one hand the people that have been in our home in the last three and a half years. It's not that we don't have any friends...we just usually prefer to spend time with them elsewhere. Leading up to the party I was really starting to doubt myself...,"What if no one comes?" "What if I don't have enough food?" "What if I run out of wine?" "What if they can't find parking?" On and on it went...in fact one night I even had a nightmare that no one showed up...not even the advisor that was putting the show on!!! Well, last night all of that worry was for nothing! We had a great turn out, the jewelry displays looked amazing and there was plenty of wine! In the process of planning this party, Greg and I also made the decision for me to sign on as an independent advisor for the Lia Sophia brand. I now will go into other people's homes and showcase the jewelry for their friends. I will reassure them that people will show up. I will reassure them that people will like the jewelry. I will reassure them that they do have enough wine. Greg and I are both very excited for my new business adventure to begin. For now it is only part-part time...really more of a way to get great discounts on jewelry I love and to hang out with some girlfriends here and there. But who knows what it could become in the future...

Limbo...

First, I am sitting here with a towel on my head...I should be getting ready for work, but instead I am blogging...procrastination at it's finest! I'm not sure about my husband Greg, but I have forever strongly disliked (I'm trying to cut the word hate out of my vocabulary) the game of limbo. I've never been very flexible and I strongly dislike being the center of attention, all eyes on me, and then I fall...maybe it's not being the center of attention...more the embarassment, humiliation, etc. And the cheesy music they always have to have playing during that game....ugh! Anyway, I strongly disliked the game....which is so ironic because it seems to be exactly where our life is right now. Not in a horrible, embarassing, humiliating way....just in the sort of ugh, I really don't want to play this game but I'm going to way...LIMBO...And it's not really that bad...Greg graduates in December!!! I really could not be more proud of him...he is a much better student than I ever was. I think he has only missed one day of class in four and a half years, and that was to go to Helena to take the State Department Exams. I think I took a personal day every week...you know, to get my nails done, or get some extra beauty sleep, or for a great sale at the mall. However, with graduation comes the wait...he is currently applying for jobs, and we've heard back a couple of times on one of them but there's still the wait. This was always the part of limbo I hated the most...shuffling through the line, watching everyone else, seeing how they would all do...just waiting for my turn, would I make it under the bar? So that's where we are...limbo...and I'm finding that as an adult, I'm still really not that flexible...of course in the old childhood game it was physical, now it's mental...it's a challenge. But on the bright side...If I have to play limbo there's no one else I would rather do it with. Greg is calm, focused, he doesn't get nervous about the bar moving lower and lower....he just knows that he will get under it...and if not this time, there's always another game just around the corner and he'll do it then. It is no coincidence in life that he is my husband...to keep me balanced, to keep me grounded, to keep me focused! I guess this limbo thing isn't so bad afterall!

Coffee Talk

I started my day with two of my favorite girlfriends at Starbuck's. It was so great to catch up with them and such a good reminder to me that it is neccessary to make the time to do so. It is so easy for me to go, go, go and forget to take time to sit and talk with the people who are most important to me. It gets so easy to take for granted that they will always be there to catch up with. It is so easy to say, "I'll do it tomorrow." Well today was my tomorrow with these two lovely girls and I am so glad it was. We sat and talked about work, about friendships, about our plans for the Holidays. We didn't discover a cure for cancer. We didn't tell tales of any thing earth shattering like Huricane Katrina. We were just three girls, sharing our little lives...which in my world is such a HUGE deal. I feel so blessed to have friends like these. Friends who don't judge, but will still offer tough advice when they need to. Friends who won't boast, but will still share their successes freely. Friends who are not needy, but will still tell you of their insecurities. Friends who are who they are without hesitation or appology and who encourage and challenge me to be the same. It was a great start to my day and hopefully to theirs as well.